I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
