STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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