Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
