so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
