your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
