but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
