normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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