Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?