and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
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Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
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I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."