i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
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You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
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IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone