Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(704): View more from North Carolina

i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them

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(360): View more from Washington

just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.

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(330): View more from Ohio

Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.

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(281): View more from Texas

Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(617): View more from Massachusetts

You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.

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(705): View more from Ontario

I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out

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(201): View more from New Jersey

we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks

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(907): View more from Alaska

Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge

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(805): View more from California

I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone

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