i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
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