we need to drink 2009 down the drain
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
