So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
