i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
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it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
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She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
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