I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
