New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
