I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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