the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
And then he peed in my hair
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