I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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