I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
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We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
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I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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