Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
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