i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
