He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
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