Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
