We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
