Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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