He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Yo dont text me then not text me
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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