Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize