They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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