dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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