I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
