doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
