I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
