My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
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