It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
