Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
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