I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
My breasts were aching with rage.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
