i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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