this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Randomize