I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
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