this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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