I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
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He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
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Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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