Fine. I'll sleep in my office
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
