Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
