Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
