Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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