I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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