apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
