She is in my trunk
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Randomize
