I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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