I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Less talking, more tequila
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
