:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
