Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Randomize
