you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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