Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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