he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
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