I just pynch a tree in the face
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
