What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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