I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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