He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
