great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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