its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
