I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
