She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
